Lately I've been chatting with a friend of mine from grad school. It's probably because we have nothing else to do at the moment that we go online the same time... which is most of the time. We never really had talk-talks. I didn't hang out with her as often as I did with others. But whenever we did find ourselves in the zen talking to each other, it was always about something deep, existential, or even philosophical. It was mostly about life.
It's no different now. We just do it online. Buzzing each other in messenger or reading each others' blog.
It's comforting to talk to someone who knows how you feel and understands where you're coming from.
It's just another Zen after all.
Re. COMFORTING TALKS
UNTIL I GET OVER YOU - Christina Milian
A friend of mine said goodbye to a special friend a few days ago. I know she's been feeling out of sorts about it. Maybe it was serendipity but I heard this song and remembered her.
Woke up today thinking of you
Another night that I made my way through
So many dreams still left in my mind
But they can never come true
I press rewind and remember when
I close my eyes and I’m with you again
But in the end I can still feel the pain every time I hear your name
The sun won’t shine since you went away
Seems like the rain’s falling every day
There’s just one heart, where there once was two
But that’s the way it’s gotta be, ‘til I get over you…
Walked through the park, in the evening air
I heard a voice and I thought you were there
I run away but I just can’t escape
Memories of you everywhere
They say that time will dry the tears
But true love burns for a thousand years
Give my tomorrows for one yesterday
Just to know that I could have you here
When will this river of tears stop fallin’
Where can I run so I won’t feel alone
Can’t walk away when the pain keeps callin’
I’ve just gotta take it from here on my own
But it’s so hard to let go
Woke up today thinking of you
Another night that I made my way through
So many dreams still left in my mind
But they can never come true
I press rewind and remember when
I close my eyes and I’m with you again
But in the end I can still feel the pain every time I hear your name
The sun won’t shine since you went away
Seems like the rain’s falling every day
There’s just one heart, where there once was two
But that’s the way it’s gotta be, ‘til I get over you…
Walked through the park, in the evening air
I heard a voice and I thought you were there
I run away but I just can’t escape
Memories of you everywhere
They say that time will dry the tears
But true love burns for a thousand years
Give my tomorrows for one yesterday
Just to know that I could have you here
When will this river of tears stop fallin’
Where can I run so I won’t feel alone
Can’t walk away when the pain keeps callin’
I’ve just gotta take it from here on my own
But it’s so hard to let go
Thursday, May 5, 2005
I'm getting fat.
I can hear my friends say "Ano ka ba, Conci?!"
But I am. And why not? My daily schedule is pretty much like this...
800-900 I wake up during this time. I spend a couple of minutes in bed trying to go back to sleep.
900 I go online while watching t.v. Check emails and my friends' blogs and photosites.
930 Press intercom on my phone and call the maid. "What's for breakfast?" Typical meal is spicy pancit canton, two pieces of chicken hotdog, one soft boiled egg, and a glass of ice tea.
1100 Press intercom on my phone and ask for morning snack next. Typical snack is chocolate chip cookies and coke. Still online and still watching t.v.
1200-1230 Press intercom on my phone and ask for lunch.
1500 Press intercom on my phone and ask for afternoon snack. Typical snack is chips and coke. Still online and still watching t.v.
1800 Pretentiously checking around the house. Ask what's there for dinner.
1900-2000 Dinner. Sometimes with family.
2100-200 sometimes till 500 I stay online chatting with Alisa.
Other than getting fat... I'm getting really bored. Poor me. Tough life!
One week down... three more to go before anything exciting happens to me.
p.s. After writing this entry, I went to the gym. Hoping to burn some calories. An hour later... I went to Pizza Hut. Sigh!
I can hear my friends say "Ano ka ba, Conci?!"
But I am. And why not? My daily schedule is pretty much like this...
800-900 I wake up during this time. I spend a couple of minutes in bed trying to go back to sleep.
900 I go online while watching t.v. Check emails and my friends' blogs and photosites.
930 Press intercom on my phone and call the maid. "What's for breakfast?" Typical meal is spicy pancit canton, two pieces of chicken hotdog, one soft boiled egg, and a glass of ice tea.
1100 Press intercom on my phone and ask for morning snack next. Typical snack is chocolate chip cookies and coke. Still online and still watching t.v.
1200-1230 Press intercom on my phone and ask for lunch.
1500 Press intercom on my phone and ask for afternoon snack. Typical snack is chips and coke. Still online and still watching t.v.
1800 Pretentiously checking around the house. Ask what's there for dinner.
1900-2000 Dinner. Sometimes with family.
2100-200 sometimes till 500 I stay online chatting with Alisa.
Other than getting fat... I'm getting really bored. Poor me. Tough life!
One week down... three more to go before anything exciting happens to me.
p.s. After writing this entry, I went to the gym. Hoping to burn some calories. An hour later... I went to Pizza Hut. Sigh!
Wednesday, May 4, 2005
This speech was given last May 1, 2005 at our graduation ceremony. Ms. Kathy Ponce was chosen to render the speech in behalf of our class. I am proud of her, she has always been a good speaker, a writer who pulls words deep from her heart, and a loving person to all of us. The speech encompassess everybody's sentiments on our journey in AIM.
I’m not the top notcher of the batch if a lot you are wondering. Neither am I a class officer or an informal leader. I am just someone who remembers. Remembers seventy-five lives that have come across each other 2 years ago.
Where were we all then? As far as I can remember we were all itching to get into our respective seats. Quite irritated that we were such a humungous class. We all managed to fit in one classroom and give each other enough talk time until we discussed the case dry. We all wanted to edge each other on but at the same time we didn’t want to turn up the heat, so instead, we just turned up the volume as we battled our way through cases and presentations as amicably as we could. Some of us worried about how we were going to get air time with 75 hands flailing in the air. Some of us worried about how we’ll make it to the dean’s list. Some of us worried about how we will ever survive at all. Little did we really wonder about where the whole journey will take us. How our lives will be changed because of this boot camp.
Then we stopped worrying and just started living each day. We stopped counting how many times we CP-ed and how many times others challenged what we had to say. We stopped hanging out the classroom to flock around the professor thinking what we say outside the classroom will just be as valuable to him and maybe influence our grades a little. We stopped judging and complaining about our can groups and started working. Doing. We stopped criticizing others’ opinions and just started listening.
The tensions that were borne from pressures to excel and survive eased as we succumbed to it. To the stretching. To the bending. We no longer resisted. We had no choice. We were stuck with each for this 2 year journey.
When you are stuck with people for a long time, you find it difficult at first. You find it tedious. You find it such a task. Even more of task than all the pages you had to read till the wee hours of morning. But suddenly, something happens. Throughout all the rigor of work. Throughout all the beating and pounding of academic discipline. Something happens. Professor Manikan might call it grace. Grace coming from the power of the Universe that I call God. Professor Morato might call it a heuristic moment. The Moment when we allow ourselves to be lost in a situation so we can find out what it means. MBA gives many terms to define experiences, scenarios, problems. One thing I learned from Professor Gavino was to define something with just one word. So what happened? What happened to us? I’d call it rebirth.
Kept in a womb longer than needed…but somehow necessary. Necessary so that we come out the way we have been destined to be. Inside this womb we have been stretched and bent not only academically but also physically, mentally, a few can attest even psychologically…and for myself…spiritually. Little did we know that all the stretching and the bending and the pressing were actually what nurtured us and brought us where we are today.
I have seen each person in our class grow. I have seen some of you cry. Seen some of you in a fit. Seen most of you drunk. And just the same way I saw all of you then, sitting by the Zen or hurriedly rushing to class…I see all of you now. From up here. Different. Beaming. Accomplished. Proud.Like a troop of soldiers that have just won victory. But it’s not a victory of grades or any academic feat. It’s a victory we have won against the limits we have set for ourselves.
And that is what AIM, has done. We may have had a lot of issues. A lot of politics. A lot of debates about what makes our stay here good or even worth the money. But, we cannot deny, that we leave this place changed. Because of how hard we have been pressed. How hard we have been pruned. How hard we have been purged. How hard we have been polished. And for this we have our professors to be thankful for. Who have taught us that the strategy in life is not simply about our ideals, our thoughts or dreams. It’s how we implement them, how we carry them out, how we make them real.
And we cannot deny that we leave this place changed because of each other. Most of us have left and are not able to join us today. It is sad. But like we all got into this together. We may not end this together…but we remember it together. That’s why we have this moment today to remember everything we have gone through. To be grateful for each one around us before our memories fade into gray.
And so, I end this with an act of remembrance…to MBA Batch 2005.
We made it. For those who are not with us, we chant for you the last hurrah. Through it all we have lost and we have gained. But most of all we have changed. We had our fights. We had our misfortunes. But we also had our victories and our parties that got our hearts pumping and our feet thumping until all lines drawn around each other in the case room and the halls are gone. This is what we are. This is what we do. We dance.
We dance to the rhythm of the clock in the dorm. Or the sound of our can groups beckoning. We dance to the patter of the keyboard. Or the footsteps rushing down the stairs. We dance to the chug-a-lug of the bottle. Or the puffs of smoke that wade through the garden of Zen. We dance through a streamline of thoughts in a discussion. Or the blinking of the cursor on the screen. We have danced to the same rhythm of this journey. Always catching up in time. Saving quick side steps here and there but never missing a beat.
Now, we have reached the end and there is no rewind nor replay. There is only forward. We have kept up with the count and our steps are almost in sync. Now as we do this last dance of marching out to claim our destinies, let’s always keep the beat in mind, our feet in step, our hearts in harmony, to the same rhythm that kept us going. The same rhythm that has carried us through the hallowed halls of AIM will carry us through the rest of our lives.
And when the patterns of life changes the beat, let us not fall short, let us not give up, let us always remember that after every pounding, every pressing, that has gone through our brains and our bodies…the spirit of this boot camp will whisper a thumping and we’ll hear the clicking of footsteps in our memories…and we’ll remember that at the end of every endeavor is another victory, another party, another dance, where we will all celebrate the making of our lives…simply waiting for us in another Zen.
I’m not the top notcher of the batch if a lot you are wondering. Neither am I a class officer or an informal leader. I am just someone who remembers. Remembers seventy-five lives that have come across each other 2 years ago.
Where were we all then? As far as I can remember we were all itching to get into our respective seats. Quite irritated that we were such a humungous class. We all managed to fit in one classroom and give each other enough talk time until we discussed the case dry. We all wanted to edge each other on but at the same time we didn’t want to turn up the heat, so instead, we just turned up the volume as we battled our way through cases and presentations as amicably as we could. Some of us worried about how we were going to get air time with 75 hands flailing in the air. Some of us worried about how we’ll make it to the dean’s list. Some of us worried about how we will ever survive at all. Little did we really wonder about where the whole journey will take us. How our lives will be changed because of this boot camp.
Then we stopped worrying and just started living each day. We stopped counting how many times we CP-ed and how many times others challenged what we had to say. We stopped hanging out the classroom to flock around the professor thinking what we say outside the classroom will just be as valuable to him and maybe influence our grades a little. We stopped judging and complaining about our can groups and started working. Doing. We stopped criticizing others’ opinions and just started listening.
The tensions that were borne from pressures to excel and survive eased as we succumbed to it. To the stretching. To the bending. We no longer resisted. We had no choice. We were stuck with each for this 2 year journey.
When you are stuck with people for a long time, you find it difficult at first. You find it tedious. You find it such a task. Even more of task than all the pages you had to read till the wee hours of morning. But suddenly, something happens. Throughout all the rigor of work. Throughout all the beating and pounding of academic discipline. Something happens. Professor Manikan might call it grace. Grace coming from the power of the Universe that I call God. Professor Morato might call it a heuristic moment. The Moment when we allow ourselves to be lost in a situation so we can find out what it means. MBA gives many terms to define experiences, scenarios, problems. One thing I learned from Professor Gavino was to define something with just one word. So what happened? What happened to us? I’d call it rebirth.
Kept in a womb longer than needed…but somehow necessary. Necessary so that we come out the way we have been destined to be. Inside this womb we have been stretched and bent not only academically but also physically, mentally, a few can attest even psychologically…and for myself…spiritually. Little did we know that all the stretching and the bending and the pressing were actually what nurtured us and brought us where we are today.
I have seen each person in our class grow. I have seen some of you cry. Seen some of you in a fit. Seen most of you drunk. And just the same way I saw all of you then, sitting by the Zen or hurriedly rushing to class…I see all of you now. From up here. Different. Beaming. Accomplished. Proud.Like a troop of soldiers that have just won victory. But it’s not a victory of grades or any academic feat. It’s a victory we have won against the limits we have set for ourselves.
And that is what AIM, has done. We may have had a lot of issues. A lot of politics. A lot of debates about what makes our stay here good or even worth the money. But, we cannot deny, that we leave this place changed. Because of how hard we have been pressed. How hard we have been pruned. How hard we have been purged. How hard we have been polished. And for this we have our professors to be thankful for. Who have taught us that the strategy in life is not simply about our ideals, our thoughts or dreams. It’s how we implement them, how we carry them out, how we make them real.
And we cannot deny that we leave this place changed because of each other. Most of us have left and are not able to join us today. It is sad. But like we all got into this together. We may not end this together…but we remember it together. That’s why we have this moment today to remember everything we have gone through. To be grateful for each one around us before our memories fade into gray.
And so, I end this with an act of remembrance…to MBA Batch 2005.
We made it. For those who are not with us, we chant for you the last hurrah. Through it all we have lost and we have gained. But most of all we have changed. We had our fights. We had our misfortunes. But we also had our victories and our parties that got our hearts pumping and our feet thumping until all lines drawn around each other in the case room and the halls are gone. This is what we are. This is what we do. We dance.
We dance to the rhythm of the clock in the dorm. Or the sound of our can groups beckoning. We dance to the patter of the keyboard. Or the footsteps rushing down the stairs. We dance to the chug-a-lug of the bottle. Or the puffs of smoke that wade through the garden of Zen. We dance through a streamline of thoughts in a discussion. Or the blinking of the cursor on the screen. We have danced to the same rhythm of this journey. Always catching up in time. Saving quick side steps here and there but never missing a beat.
Now, we have reached the end and there is no rewind nor replay. There is only forward. We have kept up with the count and our steps are almost in sync. Now as we do this last dance of marching out to claim our destinies, let’s always keep the beat in mind, our feet in step, our hearts in harmony, to the same rhythm that kept us going. The same rhythm that has carried us through the hallowed halls of AIM will carry us through the rest of our lives.
And when the patterns of life changes the beat, let us not fall short, let us not give up, let us always remember that after every pounding, every pressing, that has gone through our brains and our bodies…the spirit of this boot camp will whisper a thumping and we’ll hear the clicking of footsteps in our memories…and we’ll remember that at the end of every endeavor is another victory, another party, another dance, where we will all celebrate the making of our lives…simply waiting for us in another Zen.
YOU ARE ALWAYS ON MY MIND
This letter was taken from the Lifestyle section of www.inq7.net. The topic was mostly about love. Alisa was actually the one who told me to check it out. There were lots of stories about different kinds of love. This is one of my favorites. I hope the recepient and the sender won't mind me putting it here in my blog. It's just so moving I had to share it. And this letter was written by the guy!
Dear Ophelia,
Goodbye, I think, is one of the hardest words to say. It is because, I think, of the memories we attach to it. In my goodbye, I attach memories of my friends, my family. I see fleeting pictures of faces and places that have had a place in my life. If it so happens that I am gone for a long time, then I will miss them. But of all that I leave behind it is you I will miss the most.
With you, I remember a host of things. I remember laughing with you and I remember crying with you. I remember useless arguments and I remember our tender moments together. I can still feel your kisses on my face. But what I remember most is how I'd come to you when I'm exhausted and find rest in your arms.
It hurts me that I have to leave, and I never even thought that it was me who'd leave. Didn't I always maintain that I want to live and die in the Philippines? Isn't it funny how life works? Funny, sure, but it hurts all the same.
I've said that only time and distance separates us when I leave, and I still believe it. What scares me is all the unknown factors that will arise when we're apart. I love you, and I want to be with you again. But what if fate is against us? What if March 3 is the last time I'll hold you? As much as I fight against it, there is a chance of that happening, and I must accept it.
All in all, I'm glad that you've been a part of my life, and honored to have been a part of yours. People say that only when you are in love are you truly alive. Well, I guess I've never been more alive than these past two years. These past two years have been sweet and would have been sweeter still, had we the time.
I've been searching for words to tell you how I feel for the past few days, and was surprised to find it in a song. It goes like this:
Maybe I didn't treat you, quite as good as I should have
And maybe I didn't love you, quite as often as I could have
Little things I should have said and done, I just never had the time
But you were always on my mind
Mr. Presley will have to forgive me if I take these words as my own, but they seem to fit me so well.
I'm sorry, baby, that I couldn't give you more. That I couldn't spend more time with you. I feel like I didn't show you my love as often enough. But like the song, you were always on my mind.
In closing, I'd like you to close your eyes as I kiss you goodnight (Mwah!).
There are no monsters, baby, for I've scared them all away (shoo mawnstews!).
And don't worry, everything will be all right.
And, yes, I will come back.
I love you, baby.
Yours always,
Dominic :)
Dear Ophelia,
Goodbye, I think, is one of the hardest words to say. It is because, I think, of the memories we attach to it. In my goodbye, I attach memories of my friends, my family. I see fleeting pictures of faces and places that have had a place in my life. If it so happens that I am gone for a long time, then I will miss them. But of all that I leave behind it is you I will miss the most.
With you, I remember a host of things. I remember laughing with you and I remember crying with you. I remember useless arguments and I remember our tender moments together. I can still feel your kisses on my face. But what I remember most is how I'd come to you when I'm exhausted and find rest in your arms.
It hurts me that I have to leave, and I never even thought that it was me who'd leave. Didn't I always maintain that I want to live and die in the Philippines? Isn't it funny how life works? Funny, sure, but it hurts all the same.
I've said that only time and distance separates us when I leave, and I still believe it. What scares me is all the unknown factors that will arise when we're apart. I love you, and I want to be with you again. But what if fate is against us? What if March 3 is the last time I'll hold you? As much as I fight against it, there is a chance of that happening, and I must accept it.
All in all, I'm glad that you've been a part of my life, and honored to have been a part of yours. People say that only when you are in love are you truly alive. Well, I guess I've never been more alive than these past two years. These past two years have been sweet and would have been sweeter still, had we the time.
I've been searching for words to tell you how I feel for the past few days, and was surprised to find it in a song. It goes like this:
Maybe I didn't treat you, quite as good as I should have
And maybe I didn't love you, quite as often as I could have
Little things I should have said and done, I just never had the time
But you were always on my mind
Mr. Presley will have to forgive me if I take these words as my own, but they seem to fit me so well.
I'm sorry, baby, that I couldn't give you more. That I couldn't spend more time with you. I feel like I didn't show you my love as often enough. But like the song, you were always on my mind.
In closing, I'd like you to close your eyes as I kiss you goodnight (Mwah!).
There are no monsters, baby, for I've scared them all away (shoo mawnstews!).
And don't worry, everything will be all right.
And, yes, I will come back.
I love you, baby.
Yours always,
Dominic :)
Monday, May 2, 2005
The heat is too much!
I'm literally melting just sitting down. I start sweating as soon as I step out of the shower. It would've been nice if I were in a beach not here in the city where there's smog and pollution in the air.
They say it's gonna be even hotter in the next few weeks.
Ugh!
I'm literally melting just sitting down. I start sweating as soon as I step out of the shower. It would've been nice if I were in a beach not here in the city where there's smog and pollution in the air.
They say it's gonna be even hotter in the next few weeks.
Ugh!
Sunday, May 1, 2005
MBA 2005 ending this journey and starting a new one...
The 315 Girls -- sans Alisa -- during the final moments...
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